Breaking the Feeding Pattern

My husband and I meet with a counselor to deal with parenting stress. Her goal is make my day as stress free as possible. Before the holiday break, I was having issues with dinner time. I don't know why exactly, since the moment has not repeated itself in these past 2 weeks. I was trying to explain what exactly was causing the stress, but I couldn't. She was thinking that I was trying to have them do something (she offered and example of getting ready to go somewhere), but that's not it. I tried saying that its not what I'm doing to them, it's what they are doing to me. If you are a twin mom reading this, then I am sure you know what I mean. The counselor is not a twin mom so she didn't follow my thinking, but she did understand that I was feeling overwhelmed. She then proposed something that would never have occurred to me; seperating them at dinner time.

Seperating them during feeding time! From the moment they were born, it has proven that feeding them at the same time is the only way to go. Otherwise, you are left with no sleep at all and you'll be in an endless feeding cycle. Even after the feeding intervals space out to longer than 2 hours, it is easier to get them on the same feeding schedule. The thought of seperating them during feeding time is shocking.

The suggestion has merit and would allow me to accomplish two things; give one twin individual attention (specifically be able to focus on one baby while they figure out how to use utensils and not getting food on their hair), and give one twin a non-twin/individual experience. Things that really never happen, but is what all parents of multiple children (not just twins, triplets, etc) strive for. On rare occasions one twin will be asleep while the other one is awake and that is nice and simple.

Only one problem: how to occupy the other child while the other one is eating? She suggested putting one in a playyard with a toy or put on a DVD. We are wary about exposing them to TV, but we are willing to give it a try. I was thinking of just dumping a bunch of balls in the playyard and then throw it about, but that might make a mess. But they might enjoy putting the balls away. We'll see...